A little over a week ago, Bennett woke up, came down stairs, and the first thing he asked me was, “Am I five?”.  This question seemed to be coming up often and the more I tried to explain that his birthday wasn’t for another week or however many days, the more he would want to know if it was his special day yet.  So, we started a countdown.  7, 6, 5, 4…  days until Bennett’s birthday.  He LOVED changing out the number on the board every morning.  He would tell us how many days were left and count it down for us all the way to yesterday when there was only 1 day left!  How exciting!  He knows that today is going to be special and that he is going to have fun :)

Last night, Husband & I were putting the boys to bed.  They sleep in the same room, in little twin beds on opposite sides of the room.  Ever since Remy was about 18 months (I think?) he wanted to sleep in the same room as Bennett, and I love it.  They are both so comfortable with the other one sleeping close by.  And their room is truly the sweetest little boys room.  Thick, tall (5.5ft) white wainscoting along every wall, navy painted on the upper walls, twin beds from Pottery Barn Kids made out of galvanized steel with wooden sliding drawers to store stuff in underneath,  two large navy trunks at the foot of each bed, a big window in between the two with a custom roman shade and a beautiful Restoration Hardware dresser that looks like it just came off of a 1920’s aviation theme’d movie.  I just adore their bedroom.  Anyway, we were putting the boys to bed, and every night we have to lay with them for a few minutes, hug them, snuggle them…

As I went to lay down with Bennett, I could not wait to chat with him a little bit.  I told him that I could not believe my first baby was going to be five tomorrow.  I was telling him he is becoming such a big boy, which he decided was a good time to compare the lengths of our arms and legs, so we both held our arms up to the ceiling, then our legs, both of which I still win at, but probably not for long.  I then snuggled him a little harder and told him how proud I am of him and started listing all the reasons why… which if I started typing them out right now, it would be considered bragging and some people don’t like that… but I’m going to do it anyway.  I told my son that he is so smart.  He can read books! He reads a new book every week to his teachers on zoom calls and it’s so awesome to watch!  He sounds out the words and follows them with his finger just as he was taught.  Such a proud thing for a parent to watch.  He can completely count to 100 with ease, he knows how to divide things up into even shares, and can cut the most perfect line with real scissors (not the baby kind that really don’t have a blade).  His penmanship is beautiful.  I told him I am so proud of this.  He started out PK4 with slightly weak fingers, so we started working with a tutor and wow!  He’s got that tripod grip down!  He writes anything and everything, doesn’t even need lines, can literally write whatever.  Now will it be super neat… sometimes.  But it’s still something I think every parent is proud of when it happens.  I then told my son that I’m so proud of his mild nature. I love that he does not feel the need to be the center of attention, and I told him that is such a strong quality to have in life.  He is so patient, can entertain himself for hours, and is becoming so independent- getting his own drinks and food, opens his own bags of chips and juice boxes.  He knows how to work the microwave and loves to make bags of popcorn then pours it into a bowl to enjoy while watching a movie.  He can dress and undress himself and knows to put his clothes in the hamper.  He can bathe himself, dry himself off after getting out of the shower or bath… Oh, there’s just so much to be proud of.

The last thing we talked about before bed was all of the details from when he was born.  I told him that he was born at 10:15 in the morning, that he weighed 9 pounds 3 ounces, and that he cried and cried the entire first night we had him.  I told him that he continued to cry and only wanted Mommy for a whole year, that he never wanted to be away from me.  Not even for a second.  He giggled while I was telling him this, but inside I felt a hint of sadness.  I’m so grateful for him and excited for all of his little milestones and accomplishments over the last five years, but something about reminiscing about that infant stage with him, made me realize (again) that he will never be that little baby who only wanted to be with me ever again.  So, I laid there hugging him tightly and kissing his face and telling him how much I love him, over and over again.

And now I’m up at the crack of dawn sobbing, writing this post for his super special 5th birthday, ha ha ha!  In a little bit, he will come down stairs, we will take some photos of just him, family will come over at 2 and the party will start…  I cannot wait to celebrate that beautiful boy!  Until then…  I will enjoy my coffee, blow up some balloons, and listen intently for little feet to start pitter pattering across the hardwoods upstairs, which always gets my heart racing knowing that I will see both boy’s faces very soon, but most importantly, today… I will see my sweet FIVE year old’s face.

I hope he feels how much I love him.  Happy Birthday, Bennett!