Last night, as Husband & I were going through the motions of our evening bedtime routine, I was overcome with emotions.  Husband was sitting with Bennett after his bath, reading him every book in his nursery.  I was putting clothes away and straightening up his room since we are having people over.  As I was walking out, Husband told me to say goodnight to Bennett because he was going to put him to bed.  I turned around in that moment and all I wanted was for my baby to stay awake a little longer with me as I finished getting things ready for his very first birthday party EVER.  I wanted to hold on to the moment of him not quite being a whole year old yet.  Bennett came down stairs for one last snack before bed and about an hour later he was so tired, I knew it was time.  As I carried him into his nursery with his face snuggled in my neck, I felt the urge to rock him in the rocking chair for a little while.  As we rocked I tried to memorize the way his twenty pound body feels in my arms and how sweet his hair smells right after a warm bath, and how soft his baby skin still is.  I laid him down in his crib for the last time as an eleven month old, and today he is a one year old.

It’s funny that this happened because just a few hours earlier, we were at a party at a friend’s house and some of the ladies were asking me if I was feeling sad about my baby turning one, and how I felt about leaving him for the first time last week to go on our anniversary trip, and my response was “I’m fine; I was fine.”.  At that moment, I was fine. On Thursday night, Husband & I were reminiscing about how a year ago on NFL draft night, we were sitting on the couch in the living room.  The Buc’s had the number one draft pick, I was timing my contractions, and Husband basically told me that we were not leaving for the hospital until the Buc’s made their pick.  I will forever remember that draft and always think about the next morning being the morning that changed my life forever. The day my baby was born.

May 1, 2015.  Such a wonderful date to be born on.  5-1-15.

I don’t know how to express my love in words for this precious blessing any more than I have over the past year on this blog.  As I read back on his monthly entries, I feel so repetitive with my words, to the point where I can barely read them without wondering why people even follow this thing.  But you know what I remind myself?… I remind myself that the description I have of him in my heart and mind will never change.  There are only so many synonyms for the word amazing.  He is and always will be my greatest accomplishment, and I’m so happy he will always know how his presence brings so much meaning to my life.

Bennett Wesley Dietrich,

You are, literally, my heart walking around outside of my body.  I cannot imagine my world without you in it.  You bring more joy to my life than I could ever wish for and it has only been one year (and 9 full months in the womb if we are being technical) since we first met.  I hope you always keep your never ending curiosity for anything and everything around you.  I hope you stay strong willed and never conform to the norm.  I hope you travel the world and love trying new foods just as much as you have in the last year!!  I hope your life is filled with unlimited happiness.  But most of all, I hope you remember that this mama of yours, loves you beyond your comprehension.

I love you, my son.  Happy 1st Birthday!

xo Mommy